How to help son who is getting divorced?
Dear Dave,
My son is 27 years old and has been married for seven years to a girl from a wealthy family. Her parents have supported them virtually the whole time. Now, they’re getting a divorce and they have two kids. He’s come to us for the money to make this happen, and when we ask why he doesn’t have the money he tells us it’s none of our business. We want to help, but we’re not sure what to do.
Dee
Dear Dee,
How about just saying no? And then if he asks why, tell him it’s none of HIS business.
This is a grown man we’re talking about, and if he’s going to take on the lifestyle and actions of a grown-up, he needs to act like one and take care of his responsibilities on his own. I understand he’s hurting right now, but there’s a lot of arrogance on his part going on here. It takes a ton of nerve to demand money from someone and tell them the reason they don’t have the money themselves is none of their business.
If you really want to help, Dee, offer to clothe and feed the children or let them all the stay at your home for a short period of time while he works through this and gets his act together. Now, if he seriously wants to get into some financial counseling and start becoming accountable for his money – to himself AND to you – then you might look at helping him money-wise.
But at this point, if you just hand him money because he wants it, then you’re giving a drunk a drink. Anyone can make a mistake, Dee. But it’s not your job to fund his stupidity or his arrogance.
- Dave
Claiming daughter on taxes
Dear Dave,
I have an 18-year-old daughter who’s a full-time student, lives with us and is about to give birth to our first granddaughter. I know we can still claim our daughter as a tax deduction, but who gets to claim the granddaughter?
Sam
Dear Sam,
That’s an easy one. You can claim the grandchild if she lives with you and you provide more than half of her support and upkeep.
Best wishes on becoming grandparents, Sam. I know that baby’s going to be a precious addition to your family.
- Dave
Condo or house for a single man?
Dear Dave,
I’ll be moving soon, and I know you have a background in real estate. I was wondering what your views are on a condominium versus a house for a single man?
Dean
Dear Dean,
Generally, condos don’t appreciate as well as single-family homes. But if you’re talking about a nice condo in a well-maintained complex, it’s naturally going to be a better investment and appreciate faster than a traditional house in a neighborhood that’s not doing well.
I’ve got a family, so we need the room and other amenities a home provides. But if it were just me out on my own, I’d choose a nice condo in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t be cutting grass, painting, any of that stuff!
- Dave
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Dave Ramsey is a nationally syndicated radio talk-show host and best-selling author. His life experience gives him an unusually deep perspective and insight into life and money matters. Be sure to get Dave's "Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness." If you'd rather order by phone, call WND's toll-free customer service line at 1-800-4WND-COM (1-800-496-3266).