Seven Strategies to Build a Strong Work Ethic in Your Kids
by Barbara Curtis
Today is my first son’s first day at his first job.
Josh is rarin’ to go, but pauses for a hug and a blessing before he leaves. It’s a simple but physically demanding job—unloading big brown trucks for a well-known delivery service. After years of sports and workouts, Josh is equipped to handle the muscle power.
But only time will tell if Josh has everything else it takes to succeed on this and all the jobs to come, to sustain his academic momentum in college and eventually provide for a family.
While today marks a rite of passage for Josh, it doesn’t stand in isolation. It’s the day his dad and I have been preparing him for since we first taught him to pick up his clothes, crush the cans for recycling or vacuum out the car. It’s what it was all about when we gritted our teeth and took the extra time to make him do something when we could have don it faster and better ourselves.
It’s the real life test of our everyday efforts to raise children with a work ethic. Believe me, it hasn’t been easy. In today’s culture of plenty, parents who place a premium on teaching children to work may find themselves going against the flow.
The good news is that the flow may be turning. According to a Time magazine poll, 80 percent of Americans think children are more spoiled than children 10 or 15 years ago, and 75 percent think they do fewer chores.
Dr. Ruth Peters, a psychology contributor to NBC’s Today show and author of Overcoming Underachieving (Broadway) says,
Daily in my practice I see parents who have made the mistake of not taking the time and attention to teach their children to be workers and achievers. These kids have learned to settle for less rather than to face and challenge adversity, to become whiners rather than creative problem solvers, and to blame others for perceived slights and lack of success.
The ability to work hard, tolerate frustration and take responsibility doesn’t just happen without a push from parents. To get your children off to the best start, here are seven guidelines.
Start Early
Lay the groundwork while your children are still very young. When our 3-year-old begs to peel carrots or our 4-year-old pleads to sweep the floor, our tendency is to say they’re not ready. But teach them when they’re eager and they’ll be more likely to step up to the plate later on.
Accept What You Get
When faced with less-than-perfect results, graciously praise the effort.
For example, when 7-year-old Madison surprised her family by cleaning the windows, her mom ignored the smudges and smears.
“What hard work!” she simply said. “I love to clean windows, too. Next time, let’s do it together!”
Know Your Children
There’s a difference between a 5-year-old who doesn’t know that plates have backs and a 10-year-old who neglects to wash them because he’s in a hurry to play. One needs teaching, the other needs accountability.
Parents also need to know how to motivate each child. Young children are often motivated by verbal praise. Older children may need more: money or privileges.
Teach Delayed Gratification
Establish a pattern: We work, then we play. You might say to your child, “I know you want to play outside. Let’s pick up all these blocks and fold the clothes and then we can go together.” Or you might say, “Let’s get the house cleaned up and then we’ll make some popcorn and watch a movie.”
Equip Them to Learn
Through the years, we’ve given our kids a base allowance, then awarded bonuses for work done well and cheerfully. We’ve also encouraged them to find other ways to earn money.
These have included raising rats for pet stores, riding paper routes and splitting firewood. What all these ventures had in common was they took enormous amounts of time and energy—mine and their dad’s!
If your children want to rake leaves, be ready to knock on doors with them. If they want to walk dogs, help them place ads in the paper. Be ready and willing to help your children start working, and you’ll be amazed at the life lessons they’ll learn.
Encourage Volunteering
Today, volunteerism is trendy. Many schools require community work from students each semester. For Christian kids, volunteerism holds a special resonance, as it means following Jesus’ command to love and serve.
When your children are young, find ways to involve them in your own service projects. Let them help you deliver a meal to a new mom or clean the house of an elderly friend. Pick up trash on your street or on the beach, visit convalescent homes or pull weeds for your neighbor.
Be a Role Model
So much of who our children turn out to be is a reflection not of what we try to pour into them, but of what they see in us. It’s not the big occasions our kids will remember most, but the everyday stuff that revealed what their parents were really made of—how we handled frustration, whether we were on time and kept commitments, whether we did our own work with a smile or a frown.
Like all good things, building a strong work ethic in your child takes constant effort. But you’ll know it’s worth it when your child comes home from the first day of his first job looking tired and satisfied and grown-up and says something like Josh said to me: “My boss said I did a good job, Mom. Thanks for everything."
About the Author:
Barbara Curtis is mother to 12 (including 3 adopted boys with Down syndrome), grandmother to seven. She has published over 400 articles in 50 magazines – including Guideposts, Christian Parenting Today, and Focus on the Family, as well as two parenting books.
Her latest book titled Reaching the Left From the Right: Talking About Social Issues with People Who Don't Think Like You will be released shortly. You can preorder her book from Amazaon.com. You can click on the book and order now. Please visit Barbara at her websites: www.barbaracurtis.com and also at: www.mommylife.net
© Barbara Curtis www.barbaracurtis.com
Used with permission